Thursday, May 31, 2007

You
pick me up
when
i am down
and
on my own

You
hold my hand
and
lead me on
in
to Your grace

whenever i cry out You hear me
whenever i fall down You hold me

hold me
never let me go
change me
i want the world to know
You are living in me
God i know
You'll never let me go

no You'll never let me go!

i
want to live
for
You my God
You
are my all

God
help me stand for
You each day
and
be Your voice

whenever i cry out You hear me
whenever i fall down You hold me
whenever i stand up You're with me
cos i have Your Spirit living in me

hold me
never let me go
change me
i want the world to know
You are
living in me
God i know
You'll never let me go

hold me (never let me go)
hold me (never let me go)
hold me (never let me go)
Jesus, never let me go!

hear me when im crying out
You put my feet on solid ground
catch me when im falling down
God i know
You'll never let me go!


```

yesterday was our kinda last time as a full Urban Life - starting from the next time we have UL, we're gonna be split into 2 alr, based on ages.
it's always hard when "goodbyes" are involved.
well at least there's still church!

i think i should stop ponning classes. sanne said that they actually check subject by subject whether you go for at least 80% and for econs and maths.. im waaay below. heh. okay starting next week onwards im not skipping anymore lessons anymore!

but sometimes, skipping lessons can be quite productive! like ytd, i didnt go for math and just sat in lygon court with minghuei doing the hoi essay for like. 4h straight. SO PRODUCTIVE! i think that was the first time this year i really really concentrated so much. so yeah im almost done (:

it's quite bad i realise that as we.. well, as i grow older, it's not a focus more and study alot kind of situation. rather it's a focus less, become less hardworking and study just enough kind of thing. that's bad. which is why i say that if i were to go back to the s'pore system (ie. jc) i would die. honestly, i hardly do any work here. oh shit haha i think i better start getting serious. exams in 3 weeks!

strangely enough, i miss the "scoldings" that i used to get cos of my lax attitude. (haha especially before bio in sec3. and then for my not doing hw in sec4 haha) i dunno, guess even though it was just naggy then, it just shows how much they care. that they bother to check up on me, bother to chase me and push me to do my best. okay im not totally bad - i do have some self-motivation, which is the little that keeps me up perfecting my essays or notes or whatever haha.

been feeling quite homesick these past few days - i have a feeling partly because of pms, but also i really really miss everyone back home.. it's not too bad this term, like i said, at least im not counting down the days to go home now, but yeah i cant wait! (: but first have to get through the damn exams. 90%!

today in lit we were talking about edited truth and principles/morals.
it's really quite interesting - i love lit lessons they make me think so much more. oh and i heard that in j.barlow's hoi tute they were debating justification of the death sentence - right? or wrong? and poor lawrence was against 13 people in his tute! honestly, i wouldnt know how to answer. i mean, put aside all that crap about post-modernism thinking and limitation of resources for awhile and seriously consider it. an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth? is justice done by eliminating the mastermind of the crime? OR who are we to play God and decide when to end someone's life and decide that we are the ones who should make the person pay? does not all judgement belong to God? a death does not right another death, and injustice does not right injustice. oh i rmb char did this topic once! it was a good piece i rmb, really impressive. haha

okay about edited truths, isnt that in essence a lie? this wasnt in class, cos during class i was too stoned to say much (i slept thru my alarm and didnt hear it at all so i woke up at 835 for a 9 class haha). i mean, i guess we do it because we dont want to present the whole harsh truth of reality, but then we're deciding for whoever we're interacting with that he/she cannot handle the truth. it's very confusing i cant sort it out completely. and if we're hiding stuff from the person, does that mean we dont trust them completely? or just that we really wanna spare them the hurtful/gross/painful details? puzzling..
and then there's principles. i read somewhere that if you decide what your principles are before the time of testing, you're a fool. but i believe that if you dont stand for something, you'll fall for everything! okay here's a scenario in the book : someone hands you a gun and with that gun you can save a whole bunch of people, but your principle is that it is wrong to murder. so how? defy your principles and kill a few, saving the many; or stand for your principles and let them die? my teacher was like 'the commandment should be rewritten from "thou shalt not kill" to "thou shalt not kill, EXCEPT..." haha.
i wish i could ask God these questions.

okay gtg now - DiMattina's lamb calls(:

later!