Monday, November 21, 2005

im at my dentists' now. haha i was supposed to do char's thingy but oh well. haha they have coms here. how cool is that! haha

well 1 month of the hols has almost passed! jyc's over; vbc's coming; just sent off my final forms for Summer School.
it's been pretty eventful (:
outings with the comm- coming over some with certain hopes of meeting someone. TSK
haha creating new names for disx lingox ritex herez
all in all getting to know people better.

my feelings towards Summer School has changed considerably
due to
these circumstances as compared to how things were just 2months back
situations that i've been put in that have put things in a new\different light for me
now
im looking forward to these new experiences
though still obviously apprehensive and worried
i believe it'll be a fantastic experience

things change
it's inevitable
people, situations, appearances, personalities..
why then, since i know this,
do i still fear?
maybe it's just my nature
yeah
but i dont exactly like\welcome it
in the personality test thingy
they said im fine with change but prefer if things would stay the same cos i need security (or sth to that effect can't exactly rmb)

i still darent believe that in such a short time
the whole attitude, demeanour and tone has made a 360degree turn
puzzled confused hurt?
well maybe things've been said
or
things i thought wouldnt be noticed have been seen
well
no matter
cos in no time at all
i wont be a bother anymore

talking about that personality test, it's freakily accurate. there's this part which describes my personality almost perfectly. hmm. or the way i think i am. i dont know this is confusing.

the other day was just talking about certain personality complexes that have gotten me into.. shall i say- more than a little bit of trouble. i do wonder why i have that problem. really, it's not normal. haha okay no wisecracks here please im serious. i mean if you look at my family background, the places i go, the things i have, etc etc it wouldnt make sense at all. but i guess this goes way in- past all these material things. but then again, i have everything i need, even way in there, dont i? it's baffling. im stumped.
sigh

haha i think it's my turn for my mouth to be forced open and poked and proded at now. till later.

>>byeee`