Tuesday, March 08, 2005

i don't wanna wake up today
cos everyday's the same
i've been waiting so long for things to change

i'm sick of this town
sick of my job
sick of my friends cos everyone's jaded
sick of this place
i wanna break free
i'm so frustrated
i just wanna jump

don't wanna think about tomorrow
i'm just a kid tonight and i just wanna jump
don't wanna think about my sorrow
let's go forget your problems
i just wanna jump

i don't wanna wake up one day
and find out it's too late
to do all the things i wanna do

so i'm gonna pack up my bags
i'm never coming back
cos the years are passing by
and i've wasted all my t-t-time

i'm sick of this house
sick of being broke
sick of this town that's bringing me down
i'm sick of this place
i wanna break free
i'm so frustrated
i just wanna jump

don't wanna think about tomorrow
i'm just a kid tonight and i just wanna jump
don't wanna think about my sorrow
let's go forget your problemsi just wanna jump

i've been having the weirdest dreams lately. mostly scary. ydae at 2+ i woke up humming "Jesus lover of my soul" cos i had a bad dream. i rmb on saturday night. my dream went like this:
walking out of my ex-tuition teacher's flat with a smile on my face, i walked to the lift landing and pressed the button. self-conscious as usual, i looked around me checking out the surroundings. it was as per normal, what you would naturally see at a landing, litter and a bit of mud here and there. however, my eyes suddenly stopped at a dark niche in the wall. peering closely, i could see a pair of horribly scary yellow eyes staring right at me. i could actually feel myself shudder in my sleep. retreating a few steps, trying to put as much distance between me and the thing, i desperately wanted a lift already carrying some passengers to come quickly. an empty lift stopped and its doors opened. i hesitated in stepping into it for fear the creature, or whatever it was, would follow me and i would be caught in a situation where i'd be alone with it. however, another lift appeared out of no where and in it, 4 people - weirdly shaped and clothed - but nonetheless still more reassuring than that empty lift. never taking its eyes off me, the creature watched as i walked into the lift. loosening my tensed up muscles and shrugging off that fear that had somehow gripped me, i managed to make small talk with the people. once out of the lift, i had to go somewhere, but was carrying a load of books and such. after explaining to them my dilemma, the 4 people offered to keep it for me at their coffee shop stall. i followed them and dumped my stuff at a nearby table before taking off, throwing a hurried "thanks!" over my shoulder. when i later came back a few hours later, they were just sitting around the table taking care of my things. joining them, i woke up.
hmm.. i guess my purpose for sharing this dream.. is cos..well after waking up, suddenly it hit me that He was telling me smth. the horrid glaring yellow eyes represents the devil; like a lion on the prowl waiting for his next vicitms. but notice he didnt/cldnt touch me -- work of the Holy Spirit. the first empty lift represents the ways of the world, waiting to engulf u, its empty, it will not give you pleasure whatsoever but will leave you needing to be filled with something inside.. the 2nd lift is like the Lord, or His ways; He will not let you endure more than you can bear and will always provide a way out. notice it jus appeared out of no where; cos while things seem impossible to man, all things are possible with God. the 4 weirdly shaped/clothed people inside are like the people in my life - friends, family, fellow believers - no doubt they're all different and may sometimes seem a little strange.. but they're all sent frm Him to provide you with security and to be there for u. they help you with your dilemmas/problems.. and will help u take care of your secrets (in the case of the dream its a load of stuff but yes), and sometimes even though you dont say a proper thanks or it seems lyk ur taking them for granted.. your true friends will stand by u n patiently wait. and finally, sometimes, you just have to open your eyes and look, cos you have so many blessings that r right in front of your nose but u've jus been focusing too much on the wrong things to notice. =)
hope this encourages anyone who feels down..
let the JOY of the LORD be your STRENGTH
i've got the joy
i've got the peace of mind
i've got the faith in the Holy Ghost
that fills me everyday
i've got the life
i've got the melody
i've got the Word
the Word of God
that sets me free (:

-=till later=-