Tuesday, December 21, 2004

4 more days to Christmas

hmm somehow all the excitement has worn off even before Christmas has come.. what IS the excitement all about anyway?

humans are such complicated beings aren't they.. i mean, in this play called life.. everyone can be such deceivingly good actors/actresses.. but unfortunately all this dramamama will not come to an end..
often we ourselves put on a mask..
a smile that conceals our innermost feelings..
a hug that doesn't contain much meaning..
words that have to be forced out..
wonder what would happen if we could only do/say the things that we really mean..
what is loneliness?
is it being with people you thought you were close to and feeling completely out?
or is it being alone?
or is it the feeling that comes when friendships "turn stale"?
hmm just who can we really really trust?
a friend?
your family?
will they defend you when someone gossips about you?
or just join in gleefully, seeing it as a chance to enlarge their circle of friends?
say one thing and do another..
there's no escaping this

things are not what they seem...

ugh.
i hate feeling this way.
maybe sleep will help.

-=till later=-